Alexander Hardy, wordsmith for hire, is the dance captain of Saint Damita Jo Jackson’s Royal Army. He writes on life, race and chicken at thecoloredboy.com and elsewhere. He does not believe in snow.
"I've had a great fatherly example. My dad is the coolest, most chill motherfucker ever. He is and has always been attentive, honest, level-headed, patient and gracious. He has been the rock, keeping it and us together throughout my mother’s decades-long lupus fight, my year-long lupus fight and my sister’s recent health issues. He’s surprisingly open minded and supportive of my wanderlust and endless curiosity. That dude is the ultra chill Uncle Snoop in a room of frantic, fart-faced Mileys. He and my mom are the best pair of motherfuckers a Black boy could ever have as parents. I long for the day I get to be brilliant and strong and supportive for a nappy headed strong and brilliant chile of my own."
"And so, hours after my final therapy appointment, I leapt for my life and landed in New York this summer. This time: less planning, more uncertainties, more urgency. And more anxiety. My prior moves to New York, Los Angeles and Panama each followed about six months of strategizing and vivid dreaming. This time? I didn’t know what the fuck I was going to do, but New York struggle tops Virginia misery any day."
This is the If Only I Had Correctly Wrapped My Charger Cord phase. A feeling of simply wanting life “as it was before” is common.
“I should have surrendered that $300 for Applecare instead of spending rent money on Beyoncé tickets,” you will say. You will tell yourself this as you teach your toddler a great new game called Hold This Cord Riiiiight Here And Don’t Fucking Move."
"8. Ne-Yo’s accent fucked my head up. What year is this? Is we free? Is this the same painful accent from Red Tails, that makes him sound like a Jim Crow-era shrimp boater and part-time runaway slave from Whoville, Louisiana who lives on Marlboro Reds and old fish grease and can’t function without that invisible ounce of tobacco in his jaw that makes him sound juicy-mouthed, culturally conflicted and foolish? How did we get here and why did his have to happen to me?"
"I ordered the ribs and catfish platter with fries, assuming that that kitchen full of big Black dudes couldn’t possibly let me down. The ribs? Muy succulent. Not enough sauce, but that was fixable. That catfish though? Gentrified and woefully under-seasoned.
"The recent Exploring Black Queer/Trans Lives panel is the second installment of the EOP's "Exploring" video series. The panel was moderated by the black gay author Alex Hardy, and the panelists included Samantha Master, a member of Washington, D.C.’s Black Youth Project 100; Bryanna A. Jenkins, cofounder and director of the Baltimore Transgender Alliance; Larry Fellows III, a St. Louis native and community activist in Ferguson, Mo.; and Hari Ziyad, the editor in chief of RaceBaitR.com, an online digest devoted to antiracism work. "
"Sip and savor, don’t slurp and squander.
Cognac’s flavor is rich, nuanced and best when enjoyed slowly and deliberately. Let it linger and luxuriate in your mouth. What do you taste? “Deliciousness” is the obvious answer, but is it spiced, mellow, or smooth deliciousness? Do you taste sweetness on the tip or bitterness at the back of your tongue? Younger cognacs will be fruitier (apricots, oranges, lemons, apples, etc.). Middle-aged cognacs may have honey or flowery notes and older ones may have flavors of coffee, cinnamon, nutmeg and the like."
"YOU’RE ON A THIRD DATE WITH YOUR TINDER CRUSH
Gone are the days of trading instant messages on AOL over a dial-up connection. Connecting with potential mates is much more convenient now. With the swipe of a finger, we can commence courting that hot accountant with stellar music taste who shares your Game of Thrones addiction. Since that wondrous trifecta of timing, mutual attraction and proximity isn’t achieved IRL as often as we may hope, a successful third date is a big deal. Reschedule your group chats. You’ve finally found someone to rave about Tyrion Lannister with."
"Forgiving myself for inflicting emotional harm has been no easy feat. Accepting the Ugly ain’t fun. Though I can explain and contort and reckon with my actions, I can’t un-fuck up. I can only promise to do things differently the next time around. And it feels pretty spiffy so far to be doing the Do with someone ready for that Ugly."
"First, the positive: Deen looked as joyous as Donald Trump at his weekly Vile Vampires meetup and her purple gown and purple-hued hair nicely complemented her tan."
Madonna's use of the n-word is more of the same. By Alexander Hardy, Special to CNN. updated 8:47 AM EST, Wed January 22, 2014. Over her long career, ......
Each time I strip down and peel back the scumbagginess on that dangerously comfortable couch, I feel a few steps closer to Better Personhood, like the Fuckshit hasn’t all been for naught. I completely understand how people become hooked on you to cope with being hooked on self-destruction and other methods of advancing death, because you hurt so good.
This song made falling in love with Wanderland easy. Her sophomore album, packed with capers of love, lust, and luchini-getting, was a constant source of inspiration back in those pre-Von Dutch days. At 21, Kelis simply wanted to do more musically, to improve upon what she set out to do with her debut. While interviewers and reviewers alluded to her wanting to be “different,” Kelis insisted, Denise Huxtably, that she merely wanted to be herself.
“She quit working about a month before I ever fired her. She would just stay in her room,” said Marcella Bracamonte, non-African-Americanly.
In the 11th grade, I was outed as a Homosexican by a wicked lesbian with a brawny, murderous jawline. She was the nefarious and lesbianly athletic bastion of projectile teenage misery, and I, the unpopular, inconsequential bystander of her hatred for my then best friends.